however having ambition and maintaining them is not very easy......... the world outside is very attractive and the negative part of it is still more pleasing it pulls u so quickly that............ before u relize it u r into it.............. i am not restricted for that i was also greatly influenced by it.............. i smoked 4 times and drank 3 times and i too was influenced by my friends bunked class roamed outside to movies, influenced by girls wasted time blah blah blah and all.............. i mentioned the number because i have a great or maybe a stupid habit of reviewing and thinking over many times everthing i do............. so after i went deep into all this my mind started thinking that what nonsense i am doing at a strike my present situation came to my mind i fealt ashamed and came out of it.................. i also accept some things i have a great ego.......... i never bowed my head before anything or anyone and i will never bow in my life......... i am ready to leave even the things i like if at all they need to get my head bowed....... the best example for this i can give is i love to be a leader and i love to take it voluntarily............but still i leaft the place of the class representative of my class because it needs the support of my classmates and for which i need to listen to them and give them false attendences and assignment marks..............so this is the case with me,defeat irritates me.................... and my life is very peculiar what desire never comes to me............... i love to have friends but i don't have even one best to me and i coudn't get the reason too............... but still i am happy with my self as i got used that i wont get what i desire......................................after all this now at this moment and from this moment i am the same old good srinivas with my life ambition to study.......................... i am happy i have changed early........................
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